Medium is big and small

forward-backward

stuck in the middle  or
 there is no I in team.  there is a me in team.

 I am me. you are you. we are that.

yes-no 

let go- hold on

push -pull

excite- bore

balance-fall

up- down

This is rather fun. I could go on all day. I want to stop. I want to go on forever. I need to pee. I could probably go hours without peeing. I must do laundry. I could go days and days without doing laundry.

pleasure- pain

joy -fear

elation-boredom

release-work

love-hate

ashtanga-writing about ashtanga

Here I am stuck in the middle with myself!

and yet, am I stuck? No way.  I only know about the middle due to swinging past it between my extremes. Like opposite of how the stillness of a broken watch allows it to be correct twice day, I am in the middle for many moments of every day due to my pendulum of opposites. Thanks  to motion I know what stillness might be.  

man-woman

demon-angel

monster-puppy

fierce- meek

hunger-satiate

famished- gorged

sweet- salt

high-low

hello-goodbye

attention-ignore

give-take

desire-repulse

honor-shame

I am sometimes embarrassed about begin able to give so much of my attention to ashtanga and the Alexander Technique.  Embarrassed because I know the real issue is global warming, world hunger, over population, drinkable !!! drinking water….. 

Suzanne Faulkner- Erin Brockovich

beauty queen-activist BROCKOVICH

I love that Erin Brockovich  is still doing her thing, OUR THING!!! fighting for people's water supplies to be untainted by corporate greed.

I have a terrific handstand. I planted some marigold seeds from my last years marigolds(and some I smuggled home from indian festivals) and they are coming up in my cutting garden. I am looking forward to offering ganesha the prettiest marigold grown from my garden.

justice-just plain terrible

where am I going with this?  no where. perfect.

I sometimes feel foolish about my life as a perpetual gym class.  I love gym. It is the most important class. It is real.  It is not a fake curriculum filled with fluffer-nutter. I love fluffer-nutter.

real-fake

is movement education and the study of the self, is that fake? is it real?  is it in the middle? I am uncomfortable in the middle. I am a middle child and I love it. The middle. Monkey in the middle. Suzy in the middle.

Is it the middle yet?

Go ask Alice. Ask anyone you know who is unwilling to tell you the answer and  there you have it.
Follow the white rabbit. Black dogs are euthanized to a greater degree than any other color dog. black is not a color, it is all of the colors. Or is that white?

mean, media, mode - calculus

life-death

snuggle-cut

body- mind

self-Self

yes-no

no-yes

that's sort of okay……I'd rather die right this second than be terrific with the sort of okay path.  why is the middle path a good place? If the middle is so good why not just hang out quietly and unchallenged right/left in that middle?

maybe because the middle does not really exist as an actual. The middle is the play/work, push/pull of itself.

I am the most selfish person I know, I am also the only person I  know, and  I gave away all of my costume jewelry when I was a little kid because it feels so good to give  people shiny stuff they want.  Know thyself. Help others. The Giving Tree is my biggest nightmare. Is it selfish to continue to give time and energy, thought and avoidance to go in, when what I seem to really value is going out and kicking ass, exposing the bad guy, shutting down the meth lab, disrupting the chain of command…..I want to change the world ,I want to every person to go to bed with food in their belly. I want to be in a quiet room and do ashtanga.

bhakti man/boy is the new cuddle monster

class clown

team kovalam 2013

devoted student 

                             












                                  

what if Iife really is a box of chocolates?  that would suck because really even though I think about chocolate all the time, my best food is peaches.

I got nothing here people.  I am a little starfish. When the shit hits the fan, I am a valuable team member. oh lord!!, I adore the concept of team. every team is a huge play of opposites. for me, team is a more tangible concept than middle.  Team keeps the play of opposites more happening at the same time in an alive, in breath, out breath sort of way. It is not push or pull or push then pull,  push IS pull. the best offense IS a good defense.

When I was a little girl   in the waiting room of my orthopedic surgeon , I sat across from the  then starting kicker for the Philadlephia Eagles. I was a big little kid, solid and tall. He was not a whole lot  bigger than me, he was a regular sized human being.  I love it when a football game comes down to a kick. All of those big huge extra/extra large guys on the sidelines biting the nails of their big huge muscular fingers, while the little guy(in pro football terms) decides it. If I am able, and I am able, to define the middle as a team of different shapes, sizes, strengths, concepts and talents, it is easier for me to see and feel and be okay with  the big and the small, the balance and the teetering, the rajas and the tamas, happening all at once, one after another,  waiting their turn to work together.
I got this middle concept on lock.
middle does not exist alone, yoh (she/he) needs collaboration.

eaves dropping- active listening

DG just pocket dialed me and I listened in for a few moments  even after I realized it was a pocket dial. So  many moments to make moral decisions about. I simply don't have that kind of time.

If I get out of here alive, there is going to be hell to pay.

have a nice day.

fresh drinking water for  those who would not pollute the drinking water of others.

may the force be with you.

ps

force is good.

devotion-defiance
discipline-chaos

devotion-defiance... ashtangi-punk...mighty-mini needs us NOW click on link below
come on Ashtanga Yoga Club Durham! TEAM DURHAM. Please click on link below and donate dollars !!!!!

DONATEtothebhaktiboymovie.comPLEASE     

beg-demand
rich-poor
art-NO art

I love moon days because I don't do ashtanga. I love ashtanga.

dynamic apple at rest on Spruce Street
center city philadelphia

Philadelphia, We Have a Situation.....

did he just say, "again"?

This is  command vessel Apollo 51.4 checking in for her arrival into the ashtanga atmosphere surrounding 733 Sansom Street on Jewelry Row in Center City Philadelphia....UUmmm...everything was going just fine.  

The flight log confirms  a month of consistent practice:  3rd three times a week,  second with some third, just second, and a primary once a week,  with pranyama everyday. There was of course some turbulence, some resistance, but we got the job done.

Last week we noticed our left knee getting more and more incredibly sore and painful, so we eased up a bit on Virinchasana B for a few days. Just as the knee was regaining some of its use and functioning......about 48 hours later...

The left shoulder lost communication with the rest of the ship. There were several days it could bear almost none of its usual load, so without consulting  anyone about anything... we eased up on arm balances. Some of the power has returned to the left shoulder, but it is not  back to its full capacity as of yet.

Got sick for a few days with fever and report general fever related feeling terrible.

the situation.

Perhaps due to the fever, or perhaps due to how fracking hard this mission is in this aging vessel all alone out here in space....there were a few days of shoddy record keeping brought on by shoddy pracitcing and therefore there was very little  in the way of notes to record in the practice log. We seem to have laid off... well... nearly everything.

Today's practice was ten suryanam A's and that was super (fracking) hard. We can happily report a strong central axis but, please note, self report is notoriously unreliable.

DG and me in parsvakonasana
during OBX 5 day mysore event

And that is where we sit and stand upon our pre-flight arrangements for  touchdown into Ashtanga Yoga School of Philadlephia's  Second Series In-depth Study. Wish me luck, love and stamina as I prepare for re-enty into the ashtanga atmoshpere of my teacher David Garriugues.

Faulkner with her husband actual

Tell my husband I love him very much, he knows..

Suzanne Faulkner 

Captain of Apollo 51.4

signing IN

PS
classes continue at
ashtanga yoga club durham
while faulkner is away.